Last night was the scariest night of my life.
If you are thinking horror movie, or super thriller movie forget it. This is more like, sad and depressing feel depressed at the end of watching movie. Except this was real. And painful.
I came home last night to a wife who could hardly walk (back pain) and a son with a fever. It had been really hard to tell that Edmund was feverish because his skin had been hot all day. We thought it was just the fact that our AC went out but when the AC was fixed, the skin didn't change so we started to give him some medicine. Turns out we started a little late.
As Edmund's health started to deteriorate, Krystle decided I should take him into the shower to cool him off. I thought it had worked because he was laughing and having a good time. I even got him to drink some of the cool water. When I got him out of the shower he was trembling with cold and I got him wrapped up and ready for his bedtime clothes. After I put his diaper and pants on, he fell from his sitting position on the bed onto his back on the bed and started to tremble uncontrollably. I was terrified.
If you have never seen anyone have a seizure before, it is not fun. Their eyes glaze over and their jaw clenches...it is just not a very pretty sight. As I watched Edmund's color drain from his already fair skin, I started to panic. Krystle grabbed him and held him close to her talking to him. I ran around frantically trying to get clothes on for a trip to the hospital. The next few minutes were a complete blur but I can remember looking at his little face and thinking that I was losing my son. He only stopped breathing for a very small period of time before Krystle had him breathing again. I raced around trying to get everyone ready for the emergency room. Within a total of four minutes: Edmund had his seizure, we got dressed and we got processed into a room at the local ER. This was 11:30 at night. By 3:30 we were on our way home.
It turns out that Edmund had a Feberal Seizure which effects 1 in 7 children in their lives. The siezure is triggered by very high fevers. Edmund's temperature at the hospital (after the seizure had occurred and after his bare chest had been exposed to the cool mountain air) was 103.9. An hour later he was already in the low 101 zone after recieving doses of both Tylenol and Ibuprofren. He was given an IV (in what was probably the most traumatic experience of the night for him) and peed on me twice in the 2 hours before we left the hospital.
This had to have been the longest 4 hours of my life. But Edmund was and is still fine. He is still getting medicine and I still have my little guy around. I can't say how many times I thought that he was going to die or slip into a coma or a million other bad things. It scared me. When it turned out he was alright, the relief hit me like a truck and caused me to cry like a baby giving thanks to God for deliverance.
But here is the revelation. Without this experience would I have ever looked at my ability and involvement as a father? I have to admit when I saw him lying on that bed in the hospital I couldn't help but think of the time earlier in the evening when I turned down the opportunity to play fire-fighter to do who knows what else. The point is, I realized how precious our time was together. I thanked God for that as well last night.
I also thanked God that Edmund was with us when this happened and not in his bed by himself. I thanked God for the strength he gave Krystle to make it to the hospital. I thanked God for the hospital staff which was awesome (except for the X Ray tech who acted like we just ruined his evening by making him work). And once again I thanked God for my son who I treasure with my heart.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
A Place of Renewal
I love living in the mountains. I love having tall trees outside my window (funny that this will change upon our moving to the new house!). I also love the fact that my wife loves the outdoors and we can frequently leave the big city of Show Low behind (haha) and drive up to where it is truly magnificent. Yesterday was one of those days as we decided to travel (on our 4th anniversary :) up to Black River. I had never been to Black River, but I have heard some good things. It was quite a drive up there through through wide valleys and by beautiful countryside. The roads were not bad; plenty of washboards in the dirt, potholes to dodge and birds to hit. Seriously I hit 3 birds on the way up! When we arrived I was very excited to get my fishing pole out and try this new spot. Long story short, the fishing was not good. I almost caught two crawdads though! So because the fishing was less than desirable, I decided to take a hike.
I hiked by myself to scout out the area and check out the river. I hiked past a few groups of people fishing and kept going. There were numerous times when I thought I should turn around, yet for some reason I kept going. I have no idea how long I was gone or how far I had gone, but I kept hiking. At last I came to a place where another portion of the river met up with the portion I had been following. It was spectacular. The waters met and 20 feet later they slowed into a 30 yard pool of very slow moving water. It was so tranquil, I had to stop and take it all in. I have often found myself being totally awed by God's hand of creation in this earth and yesterday was no excuse. I found a large rock and laid down. I looked up at the fast moving monsoon clouds and the rocky cliffs that emerged from the side of the green sloped hills. I closed off all thoughts that raced through my mind and just sat, silently. The time slowly melted away and with it, all the stress and worry that had built up in my life over the past few weeks. I could breathe again. I was renewed.
I rose from the rock feeling so much lighter of heart and mind. I felt almost childish as I fought to suppress my urge to jump into the river (won't happen again I can promise that) and I took off running on the path back to where my family was relaxing. It was only a short period of time, but I left that spot knowing that though my problems seemed large, they were not too big for God to conquer.
I hiked by myself to scout out the area and check out the river. I hiked past a few groups of people fishing and kept going. There were numerous times when I thought I should turn around, yet for some reason I kept going. I have no idea how long I was gone or how far I had gone, but I kept hiking. At last I came to a place where another portion of the river met up with the portion I had been following. It was spectacular. The waters met and 20 feet later they slowed into a 30 yard pool of very slow moving water. It was so tranquil, I had to stop and take it all in. I have often found myself being totally awed by God's hand of creation in this earth and yesterday was no excuse. I found a large rock and laid down. I looked up at the fast moving monsoon clouds and the rocky cliffs that emerged from the side of the green sloped hills. I closed off all thoughts that raced through my mind and just sat, silently. The time slowly melted away and with it, all the stress and worry that had built up in my life over the past few weeks. I could breathe again. I was renewed.
I rose from the rock feeling so much lighter of heart and mind. I felt almost childish as I fought to suppress my urge to jump into the river (won't happen again I can promise that) and I took off running on the path back to where my family was relaxing. It was only a short period of time, but I left that spot knowing that though my problems seemed large, they were not too big for God to conquer.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Buying a House
Perhaps the biggest step in a person's financial life is their commitment to buying a house. You are basically committing yourself to be in debt for a long time. I have been very wary of this over the years. I have always wanted to own my own home, but I understand the ramifications and to be honest it scares me a little. Do I really want to promise to spend almost 1/2 my monthly pay for a building to live in for the next 30 years of my life? When I put it like that, not really!
However, the perks to owning a home have to be fantastic. I can't speak from experience but I would sure like to! Krystle and I are in the process of trying to figure out how to buy a form of our dream house that was dropped into our laps in the past week. I say dropped because we had honestly given up the search for a home. Realtors had only ever shown us total dumps that needed more work than I am willing to do. We have had no luck. Until now. It hasn't been until this house came around that I have really, seriously began to think about how to make it ours. It is a great deal on an acre of land. An acre of land! Talk about room to run! Edmund has never had a yard to play in, and now he could have more yard than many kids put together!
Unfortunately there is a catch. Apparently, according to the bank, we have too much debt to qualify for the amount we need for the loan which is $100,000. The only debt we have. Student loans. Killer. Turns out the best way for me to bypass the student loan problem is to go back to school to put those loans in deferrement. So essentially, to better my debt situation, I have to get into more debt by going back to school. Haha. There's a nice slice of irony in the economic cake of America!
However, the perks to owning a home have to be fantastic. I can't speak from experience but I would sure like to! Krystle and I are in the process of trying to figure out how to buy a form of our dream house that was dropped into our laps in the past week. I say dropped because we had honestly given up the search for a home. Realtors had only ever shown us total dumps that needed more work than I am willing to do. We have had no luck. Until now. It hasn't been until this house came around that I have really, seriously began to think about how to make it ours. It is a great deal on an acre of land. An acre of land! Talk about room to run! Edmund has never had a yard to play in, and now he could have more yard than many kids put together!
Unfortunately there is a catch. Apparently, according to the bank, we have too much debt to qualify for the amount we need for the loan which is $100,000. The only debt we have. Student loans. Killer. Turns out the best way for me to bypass the student loan problem is to go back to school to put those loans in deferrement. So essentially, to better my debt situation, I have to get into more debt by going back to school. Haha. There's a nice slice of irony in the economic cake of America!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
My Summer Job
The most wonderful part about being a teacher in rural Arizona is my summer job. Ok, so that is not 100% true. I could put myself on a pay schedule where I would get checks from teaching during the summer but the problem is that it would be too low of an amount for my family to pay rent/bills. So, I have to find work. Two summers ago I worked at Home Depot. Although it was not a glorious job at all, the hours were steady and I knew what was coming. Last summer I worked a landscaping job. It was very hard laborious work, same pay as Home Depot and not as steady hours. So, I had to find something else to do. This summer, I am working a better paying job with far fewer hours. My highest total work week has been 26 hours so far. So, needless to say I am not making nearly what I need to. Thankfully I have a smart wife who budgeted our income well enough to pay for some rent ahead of time and we will make it through the summer without (hopefully) going into debt.
I really like my new summer job. It is easy, I get some reading done, and I get to talk to people I might never meet in any other place. The Rec Center is a haven, a cure for boredom and just a place to hang out with friends. I used to visit this place frequently when I was younger and there is a lot about it that is the same. However, it would be awesome if I never had to find a summer job. I don't want to complain because this summer has been great so far, but it would be really nice to not have to worry all year about what to do to make it through the summer. I guess I will get there someday and some degree later.
I really like my new summer job. It is easy, I get some reading done, and I get to talk to people I might never meet in any other place. The Rec Center is a haven, a cure for boredom and just a place to hang out with friends. I used to visit this place frequently when I was younger and there is a lot about it that is the same. However, it would be awesome if I never had to find a summer job. I don't want to complain because this summer has been great so far, but it would be really nice to not have to worry all year about what to do to make it through the summer. I guess I will get there someday and some degree later.
Friday, April 24, 2009
The Shoah
There are few things that I truly dread teaching about. The biggest one is the holocaust. I am always surprised to find people that really "enjoy" learning about or teaching the holocaust. I cringe when students show excitement in learning about Hitler as if he is still someone to place upon a pedestal.
The most interesting part of this is that the last few times I have had to teach this subject, I have felt sick. Actually it's more than that, I start becoming sick. This morning I woke up with a headache, stuffed up nose and sore throat. I would call this a coincidence except for the fact that I have gotten sick the last 3 times I have had to teach this subject. It is just another example for me that our mental health totally affects our physical health. I have been dreading this day all week. The death, the images, the truth of hatred - it drains me of my faith in humanity. Good thing humanity is not the place where I put my faith.
The most interesting part of this is that the last few times I have had to teach this subject, I have felt sick. Actually it's more than that, I start becoming sick. This morning I woke up with a headache, stuffed up nose and sore throat. I would call this a coincidence except for the fact that I have gotten sick the last 3 times I have had to teach this subject. It is just another example for me that our mental health totally affects our physical health. I have been dreading this day all week. The death, the images, the truth of hatred - it drains me of my faith in humanity. Good thing humanity is not the place where I put my faith.
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