A Night of Pain and Revelation

Last night was the scariest night of my life.

If you are thinking horror movie, or super thriller movie forget it. This is more like, sad and depressing feel depressed at the end of watching movie. Except this was real. And painful.

I came home last night to a wife who could hardly walk (back pain) and a son with a fever. It had been really hard to tell that Edmund was feverish because his skin had been hot all day. We thought it was just the fact that our AC went out but when the AC was fixed, the skin didn't change so we started to give him some medicine. Turns out we started a little late.

As Edmund's health started to deteriorate, Krystle decided I should take him into the shower to cool him off. I thought it had worked because he was laughing and having a good time. I even got him to drink some of the cool water. When I got him out of the shower he was trembling with cold and I got him wrapped up and ready for his bedtime clothes. After I put his diaper and pants on, he fell from his sitting position on the bed onto his back on the bed and started to tremble uncontrollably. I was terrified.

If you have never seen anyone have a seizure before, it is not fun. Their eyes glaze over and their jaw clenches...it is just not a very pretty sight. As I watched Edmund's color drain from his already fair skin, I started to panic. Krystle grabbed him and held him close to her talking to him. I ran around frantically trying to get clothes on for a trip to the hospital. The next few minutes were a complete blur but I can remember looking at his little face and thinking that I was losing my son. He only stopped breathing for a very small period of time before Krystle had him breathing again. I raced around trying to get everyone ready for the emergency room. Within a total of four minutes: Edmund had his seizure, we got dressed and we got processed into a room at the local ER. This was 11:30 at night. By 3:30 we were on our way home.

It turns out that Edmund had a Feberal Seizure which effects 1 in 7 children in their lives. The siezure is triggered by very high fevers. Edmund's temperature at the hospital (after the seizure had occurred and after his bare chest had been exposed to the cool mountain air) was 103.9. An hour later he was already in the low 101 zone after recieving doses of both Tylenol and Ibuprofren. He was given an IV (in what was probably the most traumatic experience of the night for him) and peed on me twice in the 2 hours before we left the hospital.

This had to have been the longest 4 hours of my life. But Edmund was and is still fine. He is still getting medicine and I still have my little guy around. I can't say how many times I thought that he was going to die or slip into a coma or a million other bad things. It scared me. When it turned out he was alright, the relief hit me like a truck and caused me to cry like a baby giving thanks to God for deliverance.

But here is the revelation. Without this experience would I have ever looked at my ability and involvement as a father? I have to admit when I saw him lying on that bed in the hospital I couldn't help but think of the time earlier in the evening when I turned down the opportunity to play fire-fighter to do who knows what else. The point is, I realized how precious our time was together. I thanked God for that as well last night.

I also thanked God that Edmund was with us when this happened and not in his bed by himself. I thanked God for the strength he gave Krystle to make it to the hospital. I thanked God for the hospital staff which was awesome (except for the X Ray tech who acted like we just ruined his evening by making him work). And once again I thanked God for my son who I treasure with my heart.

A Place of Renewal

I love living in the mountains. I love having tall trees outside my window (funny that this will change upon our moving to the new house!). I also love the fact that my wife loves the outdoors and we can frequently leave the big city of Show Low behind (haha) and drive up to where it is truly magnificent. Yesterday was one of those days as we decided to travel (on our 4th anniversary :) up to Black River. I had never been to Black River, but I have heard some good things. It was quite a drive up there through through wide valleys and by beautiful countryside. The roads were not bad; plenty of washboards in the dirt, potholes to dodge and birds to hit. Seriously I hit 3 birds on the way up! When we arrived I was very excited to get my fishing pole out and try this new spot. Long story short, the fishing was not good. I almost caught two crawdads though! So because the fishing was less than desirable, I decided to take a hike.

I hiked by myself to scout out the area and check out the river. I hiked past a few groups of people fishing and kept going. There were numerous times when I thought I should turn around, yet for some reason I kept going. I have no idea how long I was gone or how far I had gone, but I kept hiking. At last I came to a place where another portion of the river met up with the portion I had been following. It was spectacular. The waters met and 20 feet later they slowed into a 30 yard pool of very slow moving water. It was so tranquil, I had to stop and take it all in. I have often found myself being totally awed by God's hand of creation in this earth and yesterday was no excuse. I found a large rock and laid down. I looked up at the fast moving monsoon clouds and the rocky cliffs that emerged from the side of the green sloped hills. I closed off all thoughts that raced through my mind and just sat, silently. The time slowly melted away and with it, all the stress and worry that had built up in my life over the past few weeks. I could breathe again. I was renewed.

I rose from the rock feeling so much lighter of heart and mind. I felt almost childish as I fought to suppress my urge to jump into the river (won't happen again I can promise that) and I took off running on the path back to where my family was relaxing. It was only a short period of time, but I left that spot knowing that though my problems seemed large, they were not too big for God to conquer.